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The Survival Kit for Teenage Relationships
June 10, 2016
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ABIGAIL & TIRA: A proud mother





Mthokozisi was a delightful and quiet young boy who loved cycling and video games. He also had a toy car that he rode almost every day. But when it broke, we never saw one piece of it! It just vanished…

He was also crazy about soccer. Him and his friends often disregarded the curfew I gave them in the afternoons, saying that, that was the exact time their game got warmed up and exciting – and they couldn’t stop!


We used to call him Ntofontofo because he was such a softly-spoken child who never quarelled with anyone, but just smiled whenever he was spoken to. A few years ago when Pitch Black Afro became popular with the song Ntofontofo, Mthokozisi’s father jokingly asked him why he had allowed someone to take his nickname!


He was doing well at school at this time but his hobbies were expanding and on top of soccer, he added karate which he was very good at.

What few people know is that he was also a great scathamiya singer! He was so good at it that he was the lead singer in his group.:

At home, when my mother came to visit during holidays she got them and often went with him and his younger brother to the field to plant mielies. Strangely for their age, they co-operated very well.

Mthokozisi did his high school education at Mlokothwa High School, a boarding school in … It was at this time that his love for music became visible. He started buying music cassettes and was such a huge Boys To Men fan that at one time, we went all over Durban, just looking for their cassette!

At school, he was highly involved in the entertainment section – organizing movies that were watched over weekends and dance music for the school’s fun evenings. When he came home to KwaHlabisa for the holidays, he loved mowing the lawn and washing the family car. Around this time, his father began giving him driving lessons. I guess he thought he was an expert driver because one day, he tried teaching me how to drive! Unfortunately, his father caught us… and that put an end to my driving lesson…

In Mthokozisi enrolled for a BSoc Science degree at the then-University of Natal (now the University of KwaZulu-Natal). At second year, he was already a DJ at Durban Youth Radio (DYR) and he was very popular with the radio listeners.

However, just before finishing at university, he asked his father and I why he needed to complete his university degree because he knew his interests and passion were in the music and entertainment industry. We took time and explained to him the importance of education and promised him that once he had completed his degree and graduated, we would not stand in his way of pursuing his dream.

And rightly so, he finished at university and graduated. As his parents, we were happy that he had listened to us and had granted us our wish of seeing him graduate and being in possession of a recognized qualification to fall back on at any stage of his life.


What do you wish for her in this lifetime?
That she has an even longer life. She is such an important part of my life that I cannot imagine my life without her.

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