The Survival Kit for Teenage Relationships

It is a known trend that these days, most teenagers marry either because they want to break free from parental control, or because the girl is pregnant and the guy feels pressured into marrying her. Because of the little expeirence they have, young people usually face a ot of challenges which they struggle to cope with. This, coupled with a lack of skills and education, can lead to problems in an immature, young marriage.

In her book, Teen Marriage, Eleanor Ayers writes that, “For a girl married at the age of 17 is twice likely to be divorced by the time she reaches 18 or 19 years of age. If she waits until she is 25 years before getting married, the chances of her marriage lasting longer, are four times better."

Ayesha Mall got married against her parent's wishes, to an older man when she was 18 years of age. Shortly after getting married, I realised that I was missing out on my teenage years as I was under pressure to start a family. Eventually, Ayesha separated from her husband and they are no longer married.

Cathy Haselau, a private family and marriage counsellor cautions that marriage is not all love and roses! ìMost couples who get married young are blinded by love and the excitement of sex, and fail to see the bigger picture of the real world. When you are young, your personality hasnít developed and you are still getting to know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses and have no practical and emotional training, as opposed to adults who are much older and wiser. The other interesting facet is that of the differences in cultures. ìUnlike in the Black and Indian cultures, young people are encouraged to leave home after high school in the white community and this makes them more independent financially and in decision-making.independent financially and in decision-making.

Ramotsamai advises teenagers to go for counselling first, before getting married. ìPre-marital counseling is important as it teaches young couples about the dynamics of married life. Ultimately, the decision to get married should be given careful consideration because marriage is a lifetime commitment where each party commits their life, emotions, time and space to the other.”